I Want To Remember This: The Motherload!

  {Not for the weak-stomached!}   Let me start this post off by saying that this is NOT a post in which I am having a whinge or complaining about our life. I am writing this post for the sole purpose of being able to someday down the track, look back and remember that our family life was full of many ups and downs. And yet God brought us through them all! It was full of laughter, silly jokes, great traditions, family meals and celebrations. But it was also full of tears, sorrow, hardship and sickness.   It is the latter that I'm going to try and blog about today.   I also post because I want to encourage you, mama out there, that this kind of thing happens in all most families. It definitely happens in ours! You are not alone when this happens and although it is frustrating and can be demoralising, Yah is there to help us through. Our circumstances do not need to dictate our attitude, nor do they need to overwhelm us to the point of bitterness. Sometimes for a time, the circumstance may feel SO HARD and HUGE. However, I know there are seasons in life too. Circumstances don't need to make me who I am. Yah does that. He uses the circumstances to shape me. Well, that's what His Word tells me and that's what I want to live out. I don't always do it but I know this is what He desires of me. Last night, I was reminded again that my God, Yah, is faithful and soverign and doesn't leave me stranded on the lonely island of overwhelming circumstances.   On the weekend, Zippi had a gastro bug. She doesn't like vomit or anything messy (sensory defensiveness) so it was quite traumatic for her and took a lot of effort to keep her calm. It happened the night Brett got home from being away renovating the house. I was SO glad he was home to help me clean up the vomit, wash and disinfect the bowls, change sheets and put on washing in the middle of the night. Zeeki is a really sensitive sleeper but I was thankful that when we needed to change the sheets, he was in a deeper part of his sleep and stayed sleeping until I returned to the bed. Poor Zip was up and sick throughout the night many times so Brett dealt with her while I was dealing with Zeeki waking and crying and being incredibly unsettled from then on in. I maybe got 3 hours sleep in total that night and Brett was about the same as he tended to Zippi.   Needless to say the next day (and this was all after a week of flying solo for 7 days - although helped out by my amazing SIL and neighbour), I was exhausted and didn't think I had much more left to give.   That same week, another one of our children had complained of some discomfort and when the dr checked them over, we were told they had a rare auto immune disease. And not the same as the one I had 7 years ago; nope this is a whole different thing altogether. Applying creams, making appointments with specialists, filling in paper work and administering medication filled my week. On top of that, I was dealing with autistic meltdowns, trying to still cull things around the house in preparation of the move, all the normal housework stuff (except washing of which my SIL did ALL - thanks Dan love you!) and homeschool all the kids. Lots happening!   So yesterday, I was still not quite recovered. Getting there but I was till tired. Brett said he wanted to cook a special something and give me the night off cooking. I was stoked! He printed off recipes from the internet and made and baked an amazing portugese style whole chook with portugese style wedges and steamed brussel sprouts. Delish!!!
We weren't half way through the dinner when he said he felt nauseas. He said he'd felt that way before dinner but had hoped it would go away. Stassi also began complaining of a pain in the tummy and looked quite tired. I thought she might have been foxing and as it was her 'date night' alone with us I thought it was a bit out of character for her not to be very excited. Brett left the table and....bleh was sick. This particular bug is not like a little sick and then it goes. It's like, you throw up violently and many many times. Then at the end, you feel exhausted and look like you are going to pass out. My poor man. Crook as.   I cleaned out his bowl, put the older boys to bed, then tried to have some semblance of a date night with Stass while the two babies played at my feet. They both wanted to be on my lap, Stass was fading fast and Brett was still weak so we decided to let go of the date night and Stass and Zip went to bed. I started feeding Zeeki off to sleep when Ethi RAN down to my room distressed out of his head because Stassi was chucking up profusely in the bathroom. Poor sausage. Thankfully Zeeki was at a point where I could take him off the breast, pop in the dummy and transfer him into bed. This doesn't happen very often so it was great timing. I thanked Yah for this small mercy as I prepared myself to meet more up-chuck!    Poor sausage was, like both her sister and dad had been, violently ill. Once I cleaned her up, she got back into bed and we hoped that unlike the others, maybe that was it for her. Nope! She kept it up throughout the night poor darling. It's just awful watching your kids sick isn't it?   Baby Zeeki had been in bed for about an hour and a half when I heard him wake and scream. I walked into the room and his cot was sprayed with vomit. His sheets, his face, his wrap...all covered. Brett and he jumped into the shower. I stripped the bed, made it up clean, got him out, changed him and changed myself since it had also gotten on me.   Out in the loungeroom he looked all grey. The colour had really drained dramatically from his face. It was his first time ever being sick and he was distressed over it (as you would be!) I cuddled him and less than a minute later....sick again! Yep! I had to get up and change him and myself again...less than 5 minutes since our last change!   I cried out to Yah, "Please Yah let this be it. I'm really tired".   He vomitted more, as did Brett, as did Stass. After cleaning out vomit bowls, disinfecting them each time and cleaning down the toilets I laid Zeeki on some cushions in the loungeroom where we could keep an eye on him.   While all of this was happening, I was trying to upload our band's album, 'Rest for your Souls' to the host which then uploads them to iTunes. During the day, their site had been down. Then when it was back up again, my computer kept crashing!   Are you serious? I'm zonked out of my head! I'm still tired from last week! Of all nights, why is there so much hardship tonight?   Then, I was reminded of this verse, "For our battle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers and against the authorities and against the powers of this dark world. And against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" - Ephesians 6:12   Brett prayed for us. We asked God to help us get through the night and to take away the sickness from our whole house. I wholeheartedly AMEN'D his prayer!!!   Zeeki grew tired and wanted to nurse. Each time he fed, he vomitted afterwards. Poor darling. He's so little and it was horrible to watch him lurching back and forwards. All I could do was hold him, stroke him gently and tell him I love him. He eventually went off to sleep.   I texted and then called Lori to let her know what was happening with the album upload. She prayed for us over the phone and kept sending encouraging text messages. I was reminded again, that we are not alone.   I knew Yah was giving me the strength to keep going. I can't say I always know this in the moment. But last night I did.
I got up and cleaned the kitchen while I started the album's uploading process yet again. I decided just to load one song at a time. It worked and I thanked Yah in the now quiet of my house.   With a clean kitchen, a sleeping hubby, baby and other children, I thought that might have been it. And it was. For a while. ...Then Ethi woke up vomitting all over his floor.   The baby woke up at the same time and so Brett who was so weak by this stage, had to lie down with him while I scraped chunks of digested food out of the carpet. Motherhood is SO not a glamorous job hey! Ethi who is quite a sensitive soul, got upset that he had vomitted. I comforted him. Liji in the meantime woke up and was coughing. It started getting worse and he began having a mild asthma attack while I cleaned the floor.
I got up, scrubbed my hands yet again, administed the ventolin, comforted the boys as they went back to sleep and then kept on cleaning the carpet. Ethi had also made it into the bathroom so I then needed to disinfect that.   I was still calm (again I knew this was Yah helping me through because in my own strength I would have been going absoloutely BAT mad!) so I folded washing as I waited for more songs to upload. Sometimes they would and other times they would freeze again in the middle of the loading process.   I prayed, "Yah you gave me these songs and want these to be shared so I know you can overcome these challenges here tonight. You are my shield, my deliverer and my redeemer. Please make a way through".   And He did. The songs ALL uploaded. The kids all got cleaned up, comforted and slept through the rest of the night until about 7 this morning. I was so thankful that Zeeki was able to keep milk down since 5am (and throughout the day today). No one else vomitted today. Liji responded to the ventolin immediately. All these things are small mercies but I praise Yah for them all! He knew how to get me through just as I had asked.   Was it hard? TOTALLY! It was SO DIFFICULT!
It took a lot of energy for me to not lose heart and to continue to remind myself that He was soverign. Sometimes, in some situations, I DO lose heart and I do feel overwhelmed and out of my depth! But last night, He allowed me a little sleep; enough to wake up and know that He had given me just the right amount of energy to get through today. I haven't been sick nor has Liji. I am thankful for that. We've had a cruisy day; watching Ramona and Beezus, sitting together and some have taken naps.   I am thankful for the peace Yah brings in the midst of a storm.   I was also reminded of this verse from 2 Thessalonians 3:16 ^"Now may the Master of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way." Yeshua brought me Yah's peace. Not just in some ways or some circumstances but AT ALL TIMES and IN EVERY WAY. I am very thankful for that too.   Some people say religion is a crutch. But I tell you that in times like these, especially, my faith in the Steadfast Rock means so much to me. A crutch is weak and can snap. My Rock is Firm and Unshakeable! My God is King! He is my Friend and my Defender. My faith means I can get through the hard storms and still know He is with me. It means I can feel frustrated and be real about the moment in which I live and yet it means that there is also a bigger picture that I am apart of which ultimately gives me hope. It means that although my life isn't 'perfect', I am still able to give thanks during tough times and know WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT that Yah will bring me through all things for His glory and the good of our own lives. It doesn't alway shappen in the way I want, it doesn't always happen quickly.   Stuff happens. Good and bad stuff.
But the 'stuff' doesn't have to define who I am.   Praise Yah with me for delivering me through what was possibly the most physically draining night of my parenting life thus far. Nights like that build my faith so that when I go through the next challenge, I will remember this night, will read over these words and I will NOT forget the faithfulness of my Maker and the goodness of my God.   When David was going to take on Goliath, he remembered what Yah had done in his life leading up to that one moment. He told the King of Israel, Saul,   Yehovah who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.” Saul said to David, “Go, and Yehovah be with you.”    - 1 Samuel 17:37   I know this night, although it felt like the Motherload of nights, will perhaps be used by Yah down the track some time as a 'paw of the lion' or 'paw of the bear' kind of experience. Maybe that'll happen some day as He leads me to taking on my own Goliath.   More another time, Lus x   Ps: Thanks to you all for your amazing support with the album so far! We are all grateful. Glory to God!