Nipple Vasospasm: An Update on my Nursing Journey

Some time ago now, I WROTE ABOUT A CONDITION CALLED NIPPLE VASOSPASM. It had affected terribly each of my attempts with breastfeeding my babies. No matter how I tried, the pain was agonizing and for months and months and months.

So during Ezekiel's pregnancy, I tried so many things. I put calendular cream on every day, sometimes twice a day. I took tissue salts daily, saw a specialist about taking a prescription drug called Nifedipine (which I ended up using for less than a week because the migranes I got were too strong). I bought and used woollen breastpads daily for months (which I attribute much of the change this time round to!), joined my local ABA group, bought nipple herbal washes (which I didn't end up needing to use!!!) and talked and read lots of other people's stories.
And I prayed. I prayed and prayed.
I cried out to Yah and pleaded with Him to allow me to have a different experience this time round.

I wanted to just once what it was like to feed like other women I saw around me did. I would see their baby show hunger signs and they would bring their baby close to their chest, lift their top, feed their baby and continue on in conversation with others around them.

This was SO completely opposite to what I'd experienced in the past.
My experience went something along the lines of the baby shows hunger signs. My heartrate would increase dramatically as I grimmaced just thinking about the pain that would shoot through my nipple and the rest of my nervous system as the baby would try and latch on. If we were at home, the whole room would basically stop what was going on, people (Brett, my folks if they were here, the kids) would come and hold my hand so I could squeeze the goodness out of it. Tears would roll down my face, toes curled and I would rock and writhe in pain all to just get the baby to latch on. If others were around, I would try and hide those things as best I could; sometimes I could other times I couldn't. As the baby got older and would feed less on me and more on solids, the pain would subside but it was always there in the background.

I couldn't begin to imagine what it would be like to actually REALLY enjoy feeding; from the moment it started to the end of the feed.

I couldn't ever imagine that.

Now I know what that feels like!

Praise to Yah!

I have experienced all that I prayed for!

As I said, I didn't need the Nifedipine for long, I used the woollen breast pads daily for months and I finally experienced what I saw others doing; enjoying feeding their babies!

HalleluYAH! I praise Yah with all my heart!

I know that it's not the end of the world if you can't feed but for me this is more than just being able to breastfeed. This was about a cry of my heart that was answered. This was about being healed and feeling encouraged. This was about pushing through as best I could.

I've recently been experiencing difficulty with Zeeki biting me during feeds. Donna suggested using calendular again so I'll be doing that. I also break the latch just before he falls asleep on the breast as this was often when he was clamping down too. I'm trying to recognise when he's not actually hungry and when he is needing something to gnaw or gum and giving him a dummy, teether or teething gel when necessary.

Zeeki is 9 months old and this is the longest I've ever fed a baby without also comp feeding them with formula. As I said, this is not a post to condemn those who have fed their babies with  formula; far from it as I have done that for 4 of my children in the past! This is just an update on my story about the cry of my heart to feed my baby without pain.

And how God faithfully answered my prayer.

More another time,

Lus x

What I'll Remember...

What I'll remember about you Brett, on days like today, is what a kind and thoughtful person you are, what an incredibly helpful husband and doting father you are.
I know in years to come my memory bank will be filled to the brim with vague memories of all the incredible things you did as a man, a hubby and a daddy but I thought I'd specifically note it down today for posterity's sake.

Today you:

Woke and tended to Zippi while I fed Zeeki

Went to Coles early to buy cabbages since my mastitis had flared up again suddenly overnight

Brought back hashbrowns to cook up for brekky for us all

Cleaned the bread maker Hazel kindly leant us, milled some wheat and put on a loaf

Cleaned up the vomit when it went all over the kitchen from poor little Zip

Made me a cuppa and sent me back to bed so I could sleep while Zeeki slept

Set up the bigger kids with a Little House movie so you could stay with Zip while she rested

Made lunch for the big kids while I slept

Put on and hung out several loads of washing

Cleaned up more vomit of Zippi's

Made me hot soup when I woke up and brought it into me to eat in the quiet of the bedroom while Ezekiel slept

Showered with Zeeki after changing his nappy and had him pee on you!!!

Made dinner (yummy Tomato, white bean, carrot and zucchini soup served with the yummy fresh bread) while I tried to settle our very unsettled bubba boy in the afternoon hours

Cleaned up more vomit and disinfected and washed more clothes and buckets

Made the bed while I slept on the lounge

Brought me panadol and water

Showered Zippi

Took time to praise kids for their drawings and effort at helping out today

Put the kids to bed after reading Zip her special bedtime story

Woke in the night with me. Took Zeeki while I tried to get Zippi's temp down

Took Zippi to hospital to get the rash (which appeared very quickly)checked out despite being tired and wanting to sleep!!!

Thank you for all you do my mate. We both have our faults but I think we make a good team!

Today, especially, when my own immune system is fighting hard, you did so much without complaint and still managed to laugh with me! Thanks for doing all the stuff that no one but me sees. I appreciate it all and love you my Brett x

More to come another time,
Lus x

This week has been jam packed...

...with contractions first and foremost!

Other things that have happened in point form for now that I don't want to forget for later....

my lovely inlaws came and cooked us a yummy baked turkey dinner here!
It was a real treat. I didn't have to do any cooking.
My MIL made the BEST baked potatoes!

It was such a lovely time together, probably our last big get together before we welcome our little man into the world!

I gathered all my ingredients for the lactation cookies and made up a HUGE batch!
I used the recipe from HERE as opposed to the one I linked to in my last post.
These are so yummy!

They didn't last too long in the cookie jar!

I froze a couple of bags worth.
This recipe yielded 42 cookies!

I went to the haematologists' this week and great news - my platelets are still so high! Yay! Praise Yah for that!
After we came back from seeing the dr and when the kids were in bed that night, Brett and I made our first ever batch of cold pressed soap together using the recipe that RHONDA FROM THE 'DOWN TO EARTH' BLOG KINDLY SHARED HERE. I might do another post on this some other time but all in all I'm really happy with the results. The bars are drying on a rack in our laundry at present.

I had some green apples that needed to be used this past week so I made an apple pie and some stewed apples (which I haven't made in years I must say!)...

We had a little family portrait of the 6 of us (thanks Dan!)...

And we had some HUGE behavioural issues (theirs) and attitudes (ours) to deal with too this week.
It's all part of the ebb and flow of life. We have big changes on the horizon and everyone knows it.
It also comes from being together 24/7 and we need to make sure we (adults) are dealing with things in a way that is pleasing to Yah (which of course we don't always do!)
Man, where would we be without His grace and mercy hey?
Oh the seasons of life.


We had a family candlit dinner the other night which was really lovely.

Hmmm what else happened this week?

I had a chiro adjustment again today and my back is getting much better which is great news. I only had to use the walking cane once this week. It's harder to walk these days but that's totally to be expected anyway being this close to the end of the pregnancy journey.
I've reorganised our loungeroom (obviously nesting!), spoke to my lovely friend Sarndra on the phone today (my phone is fixed after the landline dying which is not so great when you are about to give birth lol!), saw both my gorgeous Mel and Mell in the flesh this week for quick hugs, had an appointment with my beautiful Hazel, saw my GP and got my script filled for Nifedipine to hopefully help with breastfeeding post-birth (YAY YAY YAY!!!), saw Ben and Jas, wrote the pregnancy letter to our baby, heard some encouraging news from my beautiful friend Natti, we put up the cot, I dug out material to make some MCN covers (but haven't made them just yet!), I went to an op shop, Brett, Zip and I had lunch out together while the older kids had a MEGA blasting fun time painting at Nan and Pop's, I bought a couple more birth supplies and had a couple of sleep ins (thanks Brett you are THE best ever!).

All in all, a busy but great week!
I'm feeling like my body is ready to birth this bubba but we'll wait and see.
The big day (or night) will happen at just the right time...I know it!

Oh and finally, congrats to
STEPHANIE, DAVID AND THEIR WHOLE FAMILY ON THE SAFE ARRIVAL OF MORIYAH!

Well, Shabbat Shalom for tomorrow and take care my friends,
Love

SUCH good news! A post on Nipple Vasospasm and Treatment

This post is about breastfeeding so if that is a bit of an offensive topic for you, it's probably best for you not to read on. Just want to give fair notice that's all ;)

Ok so for those of you who know me in real life (lol) or who have read my blog over the past couple of years, you will probably know that I have struggled HUGELY with MASSIVE amounts of pain that last for MONTHS after each of our children is born as I try to breastfeed them. Just so I can be clear about what kind of pain I am talking about, it's like someone has sliced open my nipple with a knife each feed, between feeds also (and also even just when I am pregnant), has doused vinegar on the nipple and then attached a vice and clamped it down hard.

I'm not exaggerating.

This is seriously what each feed is like for me for the first 3 to 4 months. After that there is STILL pain but it seems to wear off somewhat. This I now know has probably more to do with it coinciding with warmer weather - more on that in a minute. I've also experienced thrush and several bouts of mastitis and believe me, the recurring pain of vasospasm can not compare. It is horrendous.

Brett can vouch for this - every feed he has to be there to hold my hand (or my mum or dad or whoever is nearby) while I white-knuckle it and cry. Often the person whose hand I am holding also ends up in tears because it is so difficult to watch. It's so difficult to live too because as a mum, you want desperately to feed your baby and the thing that stops you is pain. You wish that there was some way you could just keep going but I tell you the pain is so intense I've near passed out from it over and over again this happens. The words frustrating, upsetting, heartbreaking just don't really describe it accurately enough.
I think I've painted a fairly accurate picture for you and how much I've struggled with breastfeeding.

So why bother? (These are my thoughts and heart feelings that I am sharing here - these are not to shared to condemn others.)Well, I want to give my babies the milk which I believe God designed for them to have. I know that breastfeeding is a time for bonding with your baby; a special time that involves just mama and bubba. I know that breastmilk helps my babies immune systems to be boosted and helps to protect them from sicknesses. I cherish the feeds I do get to have with my babies and even though they have never fed for as long as I have wanted, I tried my hardest each and every time. I love looking down at them and them looking back up at you and stroking their hair. I love talking to them while they are feeding and once the pain leaves (often around the 5 or 6 month mark) I really can enjoy feeding so much more. I love that breastfeeding is portable and cost effective! To me, it is worth the pain and the effort to give them a great start in life!

However, the pain that I have experienced in the past does not make me look forward to feeding. It would be abnormal to look forward to experiencing that kind of level of pain on an on-going basis. I look forward to birthing but to feeding, well....that's different.

This pregnancy I have prayed and prayed for Yah to help me understand it all and show me the way through this journey. I have prayed for answers and I have been given some! This has provided me with so much hope and encouragement that I can't even express.

I wanted to document it all so I can look back in the future and remember how Yah met with me and what he showed me.

Early on in the pregnancy I was reminded to look up NIPPLE VASOSPASM. In the past I had looked this up but had discounted it because I thought that you had to have RAYNAUD'S PHENOMENON as well. I do have some of the symptoms of the latter but you can also have nipple vasospasm without having Raynaud's Phenomenon. Anyway, I decided to look it back up again and this time found some great information. I disussed it with our lovely Midwife Hazel who agreed that it did indeed sound like Vasospasm.

So I began praying about what I should do about it.

Then I went to the local health store and bought a nerve tonic since I thought it was a nerve issue.

Then, as I started reading about it, I began to understand that this is a condition which affects the blood vessels. The blood vessels become constricted; often through cold weather or just being sensitive to the cold. This means they tighten up and restrict the correct flow of blood through the vessels.

I came across some amazing websites that have helped:

FACT SHEET ON NIPPLE VASOSPASM

THIS PDF

LILY'S STORY

INFO AT KELLYMOM.COM

SOME MORE INFO FOUND ON A FORUM

These things basically led me to looking into a pharmaceutical drug called Nifedipine. This is a drug which helps to open up the blood vessels and can be taken as a slow relasese dose.

Now here's where the 'SUCH good news' part comes into the story!

A little while ago, our lovely MIDWIFE HAZEL came across THIS PUBLICATION REGARDING A CLINICAL TRIAL OF 12 WOMEN SUFFERING FROM VASOSPASM. Some of them were treated with Nifedipine and this was found to help them! One woman who had preciously been in severe pain, took the Nifedipine and the pain ceased and she was able to feed her baby WITHOUT pain! I can't even begin to imagine how amazing that must be!!!!! The pros of Nifedipine are that almost none of it crosses over through the milk making it safe for baby and that the side effects for mum are small IF ANY - headaches and dizziness seem to be the worst and believe me that is NOTHING compared to the pain I normally  have breastfeeding!

Now, the problem that both Hazel and I saw about this particular drug was that it opens up the blood vessels. Having had an auto-immune blood disease 5 years ago that is now in remission, anything that has to do with bleeding needs to be taken very seriously. In order to meet Medicare requirements, I had to (and would have anyway) have a consult with my haematologist. And he has said that Nifedipine would not affect my platelet levels at all and would be fine to take from his point of view after baby is born - YAAAAAAAAAY! You have no idea how good this is! It may not work, but we can at least try it! This gives me hope!!!

So here's what we are doing so far to tackle the pain of Nipple Vasospasm so far:

1. I will be taking a slow-release (short course hopefully) of Nifedipine once bubba is born

2. I have purchased  SORE NIPPLE HERBAL WASHES from DOULA JULIE BELL IN MELBOURNE. These include herbs such as:

 * Wild-crafted Witch Hazel -

* Calendula

* Lady's Mantle
* Marshmallow

* Lavender

* Chamomile

* Peppermint
* Red Clover
* Celtic Sea Salt

3. I will be purchasing (when funds permit!) two packs of woollen breast pads. I already have A PAIR OF THERMAL BREAST WARMERS.

4. I have purchased comfrey root ointment and will be rubbing that into the areola and nipple for the remainder of pregnancy to help strengthen the nipple.

5. I also have a herbal ointment cream to rub in once bubba is born (as I can't use comfrey then)

6. These are some of the things we are going to be doing. I also have 6 weeks of post-birth breastfeeding support (daily if needed!) from our lovely midwife Hazel who is also a breastfeeding counsellor for ABA (Australian Breastfeeding Association) so if we encounter any other probs, we can tackle them head on with her!

7. In the meantime, I have been attending meetings of my local ABA group and have met some wonderful women there. Just connecting with like-minded people is very encouraging isn't it?

8. I have contacted a breastfeeding counsellor who also suffered from Vasospasm and have shared my story with her and am looking forward to hearing of her experiences too.

9. PRAYER! Lots and lots of prayer! I know that Yah wants what is best for me and my child and our entire family so we are continuing to trust in Him; that He will lead and guide us all the way through and help me even during the hardest times - He always has!

10. The last thing on my list is just to give it the best shot I can!

All in all, I am feeling SO much more positive and hopeful about this whole situation. To know that there are things I can take that won't harm me or my baby and that may ease or even take away all the pain is SUCH GOOD NEWS!!!!

I hope that anyone who stumbles across my story here will be encouraged especially if they have suffered from Nipple Vasospasm. If you think to pray for us that we will have a successful pain-free feeding experience, that would be so greatly appreciated!

More to come soon,

 

random...

Random stuff to share....

* Our Zippi girl is having a growth-spurt-kind-of-day today; drinking lots! She's also been more unsettled today (which is good since she's waking for her feeds by herself!). I did manage to have a 1.5hour nap though while Brett held her so that was great.

* We are really getting into the hang of her being in cloth nappies all day and disposables only at night/when we go out.
* Gail O, here is the email addy for the lady I bought the nursing cover from. It was an ebay purchase (although it was brand new) and this was on the label so i hope it helps you!
Email: nursingmums@bigpond.com


* I'm reading through the book of Matthew in the Bible at the moment.
* Today Liji began THERAPUTIC LISTENING protocol. It's really interesting reading up on it all and the hope is that it will bring his vestibular and auditory systems in line to help him process info better. Here he is with the lovely occupational therapist today...



* This is the bookcase that Brett painted white and shabbied up for me (not the best photo since i took it tonight with the flash on)...


Here's what it looked like a couple of years back...
* And it now goes with the roll top sewing desk that Brett and the kids did for me recently too...


* And just because every inch of her is adorable...


5 things I am so thankful to the Lord for today:

1. Brett being home. Love. Love. Love. that.
2. The theraputic listening program
3. Chatting with Em L on the phone tonight - her encouragement meant so much :) And catching up on the phone with Loz today too.
4. Hearing the kids apologise to each other tonight when they thought I wasn't listening for speaking nastily to each other. I heard and it warmed my heart.
5. Warm woolly jumpers and central heating on cold days and nights.