Eating Pie + The Kingdom

"The Kingdom" by Bethany Dillon

I have eaten a HUGE serving of it tonight.
It tasted bitter but good.
When I say bitter, the taste is tinged with shame + guilt (which Jesus is dealing with).
And believe me, it was a MIGHTY BIG helping of it.

Wanna know what I ate?

It was a portion,
a MASSIVE portion
of
HUMBLE PIE.

We 'fell out' I guess you'd say with some friends a while back. It was hard at the time because I felt I knew ALL the reasons as to why they had behaved in a certain kind of way.
And me?
Well, of course, I was saint through it all!

NOT!

I trashed them to others
but
of course it was done in a way of 'loving concern'.

I was only speaking 'honestly' of them
but
of course this was not done to their face.

I had every reason to be concerned and I would tell that to others when they asked
but
I was really trying to hide my own desires and felt that if I pointed the finger at someone else, they might not see what was happening to me.

And what was happening to me?
Well, I too was being drawn to Yahweh in a weird and very wonderful way!
A new way!
I too was reading the Word in a new light!
And I was being convicted over the way I had treated my friends who are also His people.

I too was interested in learning about my Hebrew Roots without wanting people to call me a legalist, a Judaizer, fundamentalist.....hadn't i at least thought all those things about these friends? I had!

And here I am talking on the phone to them tonight, asking for forgiveness for treating them so poorly.
And just as our Father is, they were forgiving too.

We spoke for over 3 hours tonight on the phone and it was good. We were encouraged and edified! God's presence was with us and it was lovely. God is so good! So faithful, so forgiving. He is the God of second chances!!!

My heart's cry is for God to show me the Kingdom! Make me more like you Yeshua!
Change me! Forgive me! Mould and shape me! Teach me! Train me! Prepare me! Equip me!

That I may serve you.

That I may serve others.

That I may love you + my neighbour.

I pray that you, Messiah Jesus, be glorified in my life.

This is my heart.

Over + out for tonight.
Lus x