I am sharing this in response to a question asked about me by Leah in regards to my weight loss.
I share this from a place knowing that weightloss and weight gain are very sensitive issues for many people (me being one of them!) I share this in love and this is JUST a small part of my story.
Let me give you a short break down of my weight journey.
Throughout my teens I struggled with having very thin friends who were somewhat focussed on their weight. I therefore always felt I was heavier than what I actually was. I was fit, very sporty and physically strong yet underlying that was a feeling on being 'not as good' as.....whomever simply because I didn't 'look' the same as the other girls.
Fast forward to being at uni...in an industry (theatre) where things are very 'look' orientated. If you don't 'look' the part, you won't get the audition. This doesn't mean you need to be stick thin but I did go to a few auditions where I was asked questions around my physical attributes (not my weight). This always made me feel like my weight was also important, even when it really wasn't.
Fast forward to meeting Brett, a man who loves me no matter what my size! This gave me much peace although I still silently struggled with not looking 'as good as' the other women in my life. Why? I guess poor self image was a big factor. And somehow I had mistakenly tied my worth to my weight somewhere along the way.
I had kids and was somehow able to manage to lose weight after each baby.
Then when Ethi (baby # 3) was a couple months old, I was diagnosed with
It was a chronic condition that would not go away with steroid treatment. The steroids meant that I gained ALOT of weight and RAPIDLY too.
After a splenectomy, I realised that I really needed to lose the weight.
I started walking LOTS and cut out processed rubbish.
I lost close to 25kg on my own, winging it and then went to Weight Watchers for the last couple and ended up losing over 30kg's altogether.
This photo was taken around that time....
I was thin and was loving it, smaller than I was at my wedding....BUT in all honesty, I wasn't really all that healthy.
Now, please don't get me wrong...this is NOT a bashing of weight watchers or tony ferguson or any other place. I've tried most places like this that help with weight loss and they DID help at various times and in various ways and for that I am very thankful!
However, after having 5 children now and having been back to WW and as I said after trying many other things, I was getting increasingly frustrated that I could NOT predict my weight loss any more!
Some weeks I would work really hard and eat my points and then get to the end of that week to weigh in and find I had only lost maybe 200g or worse still had put on 500g! It seemed like it was almost pot luck and that was really upsetting me. I ended up losing a total of 3kg in 3 months yet people around me were dropping 10+ kilos in that same period! I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong.
I had a tooth removed then did my back in and was unable to exercise those 3 weeks while I was recovering.
And guess what?
During those 3 measly weeks, I put back those 3 kilos that I'd lost over 3 months!!!
Are you kidding me?!?!?!
People said if I came off gluten, then the weight would drop off me.
Nope.
I'd been off gluten for 5 months and the weight was definitely not dropping off me; it was gaining on me! (I've been gluten free now for 10 months in total).
My WW mentor said that if I just ate my points, then I should see a change.
Nope.
I was eating all my points and I still wasn't seeing any big changes at all.
I thought if I just tried to up my exercise and go for a run then that would help.
I went for a run AND. NEARLY. DIED.
lol
I couldn't keep that up; I didn't have the time or the know-how on how to actually run and instead just came home sore and more frustrated.
Why wasn't I able to lose weight?
Then a couple of things happened for me that changed everything!
1. With Brett being away and renovating the house, I was missing my weekly WW meetings and I couldn't justify paying for them and not attending. So I decided to cancel my subscription and stopped attending meetings.
2. I was really frustrated at the hit-and-miss approach to my journey and wanted to get a hold of something more concrete.
3. My AMAZING friend and homebirth photographer
MELL MALLIN went from
THIS... TO THIS...
...losing 50+ kilos since January this year. I was one of her 'support' people I guess you'd say and was honoured to have watched her WHOLE LIFE change during this time.
(She's not the only one of my friends who've been losing weight though; Donna, Kathy, Channi have all had their own journey's which have inspired me too).
So I went to Mell's one crazy afternoon, holding back the tears and asked her for some advice. I told her of my frustration and as we sat on her porch for what felt like seconds, she shared some facts with me that I'd NEVER known before!
Just as we measure length in centemetres, we can measure energy in values in food and exercise in kilojules and calories. WHY had i never known this before? I'd always seen those pesky little tables on the backs of food labels before but never really knew what they stood for.
Mell helped me to understand these values and work out calories from kilojules (basically dividing the kj by 4). I worked out as a breastfeeding mama that I would need to have more calories than the average woman losing weight would and set my intake to be between 1800-2000 per day. Mell helped me to understand that water LOVES salt and so there can be water loading after a salty kind of meal. I stopped adding salt to my meals, started looking at the RDI (recommended daily intake) on the packets of food and if it was too salty I would choose something else.
There are great tid bits that Mell has shared
if you would like to read them.
Mell shared this info with me and it changed me.
I started the last week in March 2012.
I must say that I haven't been very 'strict' on this journey.
Rather, I decided I would just start making BETTER choices.
I'm still gluten free, avoid most dairy and watch my chemical intake.
However, I still eat chocolate, have a glass of wine or go out for my fave cafe veg brekky when I need some down time for myself.
I decided that my goals would be:
1. To make better choices and be in control of my food rather than *it* being in control of me!
2. Live as active a lifestyle as I possibly can.
3. Not obsessive over numbers but rather enjoy feeling *free* and *in control* over living a healthy life!
So my journey began.
I started to look at the kj values, divide them by 4 and realised that sometimes, some of my choices previously were mistakenly high cal choices!
For instance....one day we went into Maccas on our way home from renovating our house. The kids were hungry and although I didn't really want a big meal, I thought I might go for a little sweet treat and check out what was on offer at McCafe. Brett said there was a gluten free jaffa cake there. Maccas have all their kj values on a big list and next to each item of food on their menu! Previously I would have looked at those numbers and silently shrugged, having not really had a CLUE as to what they meant! This time, I looked at that jaffa cake and Oh.My.Goodness....each slice had a kj value of 3000+ kilojules! I did a quick mental calculation and knew that ONE slice of cake, even though it was gluten free and only a small piece, would make up almost HALF of my DAILY CALORIE INTAKE! No way! In the past, I would have thought that was a 'good choice' since it was a small piece and was gluten free! But instead I opted for a fruit smoothie which had about 200 calories in it instead. It was yummy, healthy and filling AND lower calorie than my other choice!
So here is a little before shot:
and here i am 8kg's lighter, 3 months later...
You may not be able to see much of a difference but I know there is.
You know where the biggest change is?
In my mind!
Yep!
I am actually EQUIPPED with info for the first time in my life that helps me make informed choices. No more hit or miss. I know why I've had a gain if I have. I also know why I've had a loss if I get one.
The best parts?
I've been doing this while breastfeeding and managing a very full life.
I've started looking after myself a little better.
I've been learning to live a healthier life.
I'm making better, informed choices.
I have started to run! Yep using a couple of apps, I've started teaching myself how to run in short bursts intermingled with stints of walking too.
When life gets too much (like now when I'm still overcoming bronchitis) I just do what I can and don't sweat it if I put on a couple of extra kilos.
'Cause see now there's a difference...once upon a time I would have been so upset that I had 'fallen off the bandwagon' if I'd put on a few kilos BUT now, I feel confident enough to use the keys I have!
I'd still like to lose another 8 kilos by the end of maybe next year if I can manage it.
We'll see ;)
This is my journey to health and this is just what has worked for me.
I hope in sharing this (quite intimate look into my life) someone is helped or encouraged in some way.
Much love,
Lus x
