Monday, January 23, 2012

You may be wondering why I've been so quiet on this blog lately.
A couple of reasons.
Lack of time since Brett's been out at the house doing as much work as he can on it.
Lack of energy; since Brett has been at the house obviously I've had to do the parenting thing on my own (although have been incredibly blessed with help from my lovely SIL Dannii and my next door neighbour Alayne along with offers of help from kind friends).
And well, the main reason is a little too hard to write about in alot of depth right now.
It's basically that with all the changes that have occured in our fam over the past couple of months, Liji's autistic symptoms have flooded back and risen to the surface along with some new things that need to be dealt with very quickly.
And we are. 
It's also brought out stuff in our little Zippi and we are looking into statergies and tools to now help her too. Our doctor believes that she is definitely somewhere on the spectrum and is incredibly 'rigid'.
Life is going to look quite different around here this year.
And that's ok.
It's just not what other families look like.
And again, that's ok.
We are just focussing on what our family needs are...and that's ok.
We are our own family and God is at the helm of this rig! 
He will direct our path and make our way straight once more.
We will continue to trust in Him.
He is ever-faithful and unwavering even in the midst of diasters, chaos and crises. 
My days have been overwhelming; filled with many tears, heartfelt cries and loads of research.
That's what my spare time has been taken up with. 
The pain of seeing your children slip away from you so suddenly is not something I would wish on any parent and if you've never had a child with ASD (Austism Spectrum Disorder) then you really can not possibly begin to understand the pain and heartache your mama heart feels when you see it happening.
It is incredibly frustrating and as I said, overwhelming.
Those who have gone through know how hard it is to try EVERYTHING and NOTHING be good enough to reach them.
That's where we are right now.
Having lived this already I know that Yah will direct us to show us what will help us reach Elijah and Zipporah too.
I keep reminding myself that we've had two amazing years with almost NO symptoms present in Liji - what a miraculous time that has been!
This is another season it seems; one where I must once again educate, advocate and arm myself with everything I can to pull my children up from that dark place they try to disappear to. Sometimes it is not so dark. Sometimes because of their uniqueness, I see light and laughter, love and delight in amazing things that quite frankly my eyes would have missed had it not been for the insight these two children bring me.
These two who seem so alike in so many ways that it sometimes scares me.
And our other three beautiful kiddos?
Well Zeeki is still feeding like a champion, has (manageable) reflux but no colic (yay!) and has found a little natural sleeping rhythm. Ethi and Stass are struggling to cope sometimes with the outbursts of Zippi and Liji.
We all are.
It is hard.
But they are gorgeous kids too and are trying to understand. There is room for all of us to learn about what it is to walk in forgiveness, grace and compassion. I am so proud of them for trying to live out these things during this time.
Yep, it is hard right now but I do know that Yah will continue to walk with us and get us through.
I will post more on these things and stratergies we will be using, some time down the track.
What I really came on here to show you was photos of the renovations Brett and his dad did last week!

So the last photo I showed up of the hallway floor looked like this:

...then last week it started looking like this...

and now with all the joists gone looks like this...

Our floors last time...

And now...

The floors in the learning room before...

...and now...

When we bought the house, there were blue shutters on the outside...

..and now they are gone...

and they have gone off the side of the house too...

Originally, all we had planned to do before we moved in was some painting inside and out and some small repairs. I was thinking that the first thing I wanted to do was change the outside colour of the house! Now that seems to pale into insignificance compared with what we have to do inside!
BUT we ARE getting there!
Each time Brett returns with photos I get excited seeing what they have accomplished out there!
I am so proud of him and thankful for my father in law too!

Anyway can't stay long.
Just wanted to keep my record going of what's been happening with the house and also to record here the happenings in our precious fam over this past week or so.

5 things I am very thankful to Yah for:

1. Family support, help and understanding
2. Hope
3. Our fabulous doctor
4. Encouragement from other mums who have children on the spectrum
5. A plan for the immediate future :)

Some encouragement for my heart from the scriptures:

"Do not withhold your mercy from me O Yehovah;
may your love and your truth always protect me."
- Psalm 40:11

"...we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal".
- 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Blessings and love and more another time,
Lus x


Chrissy said...

Oh Lus...firstly HUGE hugs sweetie, it is good and right to rest in God with all you and your family are going through right now but am hoping it is also a little comforting to know there are friends here too who are thinking of you, praying for you and encouraging you in your journey.

Having taught quite a number of my gorgeous aspie munchkins over the years I understand a little of what you must feel. Be encouraged that everything you are doing makes a difference... you are a blessing to your children every single day.

Love to you xx

Sarah Lou said...

I pray that yah continues to give the strength to see the blessings in your family and to work with the needs. hold strong.

Channi said...

please know our thoughts and prayers are with you all Lus. and ANYTHING you need us for we're here for you :)

Andi said...

Praying for you Lusi, I pray your strength will be renewed in HIM!

Heidi said...

Sending much love your way! The house is going to be beautiful. I'm sorry to hear things are rough right now. We are doing well right now, for which we are very grateful. I'm praying that things will level off at your house quickly. :)

lusi said...

Thanks lovelies. X

Leah-in-the-Kia said...

Oh dear Lusi , I thought in your blog absence you must have moved, I didn't realize how tough things are for you. I really hope things get better, I work with kids with autism and can only imagine how difficult it is to see your own child with it, I am thinking of your family, I wish I could help! Love to you all, leah

caz1975 said...

oh Lusi I can't imagine having 2 children on the spectrum, may God's strength enfold you right now and lead you as you walk this journey with your family!!! Hugs to you xxoo

Sumara said...

Love you, Lus. Call me anytime if you want/need anything at all. xoxo.

singing mama said...

Oh sweet Lusi, thinking of you so much and sending huge hugs. I so understand and really hurt for you guys at this time!! Praying so much for Yah to lead you to his best for Liji and to knit you together as a family. Love your realness and rawness of this post and your desire to do what is right for your family you are a beautiful mama!! Luv Donna

lusi said...

Thanks my friends :-)
I should clarify that we don't have a formal diagnosis for Zippi but from what the Gp (and we) think having studied the spectrum over the past 4 years we do believe she fits there somewhere. Will post again about it down the track.
Your prayers and support mean the world to me :-)
Love Lusi x

kathy said...

Praying for you guys!
Love your honesty. Hang in there!
much love :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Lusi, don't know if this comment will shop up but my thoughts are with you. Not sure what you mean by a reappearance of symptoms, if you mean outbursts, they never go away, they are always there but you learn what triggers them and you learn how to handle it. Asperger's never goes away, as children get older the characteristics show in different ways. Josh is now 14, I have less meltdowns but when they happen, I have to duck for cover as he's taller and bigger than me and tends to punch the walls etc to get rid of the frustration. Social inadequacy tends to show itself at this age rather than meltdowns. You've had lots of change in your household with a new baby and daddy being away and the upcoming move and all these changes will impact, so a lot of reassurance will be needed. I know God will guide you in all you do. Best wishes with the house.

Anonymous said...

Always wishing the best for you. If there is anything I can help with please let me know. I am only an email away (

I am very proud of all your hard work and efforts. Knowing what needs doing and finding ways to make it happen is so important when your a parent. Your a fantastic mum and I can see your always trying your best.

It is positive to read you have a good Dr and spend time doing research. I too enjoy researching things and am thankful of all the internet shares on medical issues.

I hope and pray things will ease soon and you find the answers you need to help with your current problems.

The new house is coming along nicely, those men sure are putting in some hard work, well done to them both.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. From Susan McGuire (smiles1965) xxoo

Sarndra said...

Dearest Lusi, I'm so sorry to read what a challenging and difficult time you are all going through at the moment! I have been off in my own little world out of touch behind in my blog reading and was excited to check your blog finally tonight to see if you had moved yet. You are amazing, how strong and positive you are in times like this. I feel you have (far) more than your fair share of challenges, my beautiful friend. I'm relieved to read you have wonderful friends, neighbours and family helping you out. Shane and I send our love and dearly hope that each day (somehow) gets a little easier for you all! I wish we could do more from afar other than to send you our love and thoughts! Big, big hugs. Xoxxxoxox


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