Tonight before bed.
Go back about 2 hours....
I was baking up treats for tomorrow's mother's group get together. All was going great (isn't that always the way?!) Then....I told the kids to get ready for their shower. Two kids were in the hallway monkeying around and I told them again to stop chasing each other or someone would get.....HURT - right at that moment Ethi screamed and had been hurt by his older sis.
I lost it at the kids with a BIG growl and a slap of the hand on a door which scared them unnecessarily....
"I am so over them fighting and not listening to me!!!" I said waaaaay too loudly to Brett who was showering the baby.
"I know honey. It's ok".
I went and changed into my pj's, took a few deep breaths, came back and took baby out of the shower. "Sorry," I said to Brett.
"Hey, I know mate, I'm with you," he says with a loving and compassionate smile.
Anyway, I went to feed the baby and Brett calmed all the kids (post shower) by continuing the family read a loud, Swiss Family Robinson. I am so thankful for his cool head tonight (not always the case but he really was amazing tonight) and it gave me time to get calm and ask God for forgiveness for my anger.
How funny (not) that we are memorising that verse i think i shared here yesterday in James 1:20...."Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger for anger does not produce the kind of righteous life that God desires". Hmmmm.
Some days feel like we are in a battle zone. The kids v's us and we don't want it to be like that. That's why we try as hard as we can to keep it to a calm level around here (esp around dinner time) and why we went out to Sydney the other day - just so we could enjoy each other rather than feel like we are in a battle. Do you ever feel like that? Maybe your kids aren't like mine....they are super charged kids. Very very energetic. Very easily hyped up. Very big tempers.
And maybe the apple doesn't fall so far from this tree hey.
Anyway, I know that His grace is sufficient for me (and my family) and so there is always a chance for healing, repentance and for love to prevail.
I went to each child and admitted my over-the-top anger was not ok. I said that I was not doing what our verse told me to - to be slow to anger - and asked each one of them to forgive me which they did. Lots of cuddles. Prayer together which is when Ethi prayed what I shared at the top of the post. Bless him. Love these teachable moments.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.
Yes! I am a wretch without his forgiveness. His promise to me (and you) is that 'He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and CLEANSE us for ALL unrighteousness' and Jesus, I am SO thankful to you for that!!!!!
5 Things I am thankful for today:
1. His mercy
2. My kids gracious hearts to me
3. Clean linen
4. Time to reflect
5. Brett's covering and help and unconditional love