PEOPLE EXPECT ME TO COMPLAIN.
It's amazing how many comments I have had like, 'I think you're crazy'. 'How are you going to manage?' 'Don't you get sick of your kids being around you all the time?' 'How could you possibly be looking forward to the birth?' 'Have you ever heard of a television?' Alot of comments are said in jest and many are said by loving mothers themselves. Others are quite subtle like, 'Bet you'll be glad when this is all over' or 'You must hate the end of the pregnancy - i know I did'.... It would be easy to agree with them. So easy. But I can't and I won't.
You know why?
I believe that being a mother is a gift. It is a priceless treasure; and I believe it is one of God's highest callings.
Now before you think that I've never had a negative thought in my mind about motherhood, homeschooling, child rearing, birthing, etc please let me put your mind at ease. I have. I am human so of course I have. Like every other woman I know, I need some time out. I enjoy having Brett take the kids out and about. Sometimes it is so full on and jam packed that it is easy to feel overwhelmed. During intense times of trial and weariness I have asked the Lord why he thought it would be a good idea to make me a mother or married for that matter. I've wondered if I'm cut out to have a child with special needs, to homeschool or even look after a home.
But I know that I am because He has allowed me to walk this path. Not only has He allowed it, but He has equipped me for it and designed me for it; setting me up with everything I could possibly need to be the best wife and mother I can be. That doesn't mean I always am but He has made a way for me. He has given me so many promises in His Word and I wanted to share three with you here that have deeply encouraged and inspired me in my role in my life right here and now...
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philipians 4:13).
Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances - for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
It's this last passage of scripture that I've realised holds so much truth in my situation at the moment. There is a pattern that people see. A pattern or mould that perhaps they think I should fit into. I must admit that before I had kids, I would have seen a young mum with 3 small charges and one on the way and thought 'how is she going to cope?' I would have thought THAT because it is the world's pattern to believe such things. But God's Word tells me not to be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world but to be transformed by the renewing of my mind! True mind renewal comes through the soaking in of God's Word.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is— his good, pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:2).
God loves motherhood. He designed it. He destined me for it. He helps me in it more than anyone else does or can. He has given me the desire and believes that I can raise my children to be hungry for Him, to love Him, serve Him, adore Him, preach Him and live Him out to the world. He has given me that responsibility which I share with Brett and we want to be able to do just that with our children.
Perhaps it's because we didn't think we would ever welcome another little one into our family from my womb. Maybe its because the doctors told us it shouldn't happen that we appreciate this opportunity so much. Maybe as I am getting a little older that I realise the miracle and fragility of human life.
All I know is that everytime someone asks me about how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking or expecting or how I am coping, I have an opportunity to speak truthfully and lovingly about God's plan for me and my family.
I won't lie to them and fake it. If I'm tired I'll say, 'I'd love it if you could pray for some extra energy right now' or when people have said, 'You're going to have your hands really full' I'll say, 'Yes I will but I'd rather have my hands full than have empty hands'.
This week I've had a pinched sciatic nerve and I've asked for prayer for that and have seen God answer those prayers. Thank you Lord! It's important to be able to relate and be real with others. My dear friend Sharon had a really tough end of her 5th pregnancy with a hospitalisation in the final fortnight. When I spoke with her about how she was doing she said how she felt really ill but that she was so glad that God had allowed her not to have the baby yet so she could focus on getting better. She also shared about how good it had been to have her eldest daughter run the homeschooling program for a day with the little munchkins (and of course with dad looking on). She shared how when she began to feel afraid, she called on the name of Jesus and how the Holy Spirit had brought scriptures to mind during those dark moments. See - she was real. She wasn't saying, 'oh i don't know what the problem is, I feel A-ok!' No that would have been lying. But she pointed me to Christ through even her moments of trial. We can all do that. It's a choice.
Some days I've posted about how much of a trial its been to have a child with Autism who has very unpredictable days. Just yesterday we took the kids out for a lovely warm cafe treat of hot chips and when we got home, Liji and I began a writing exercise. He totally lost it towards the end and had a 15 minute meltdown. Not a tantrum. A meltdown. Parents with kids on the spectrum understand the difference. It is full on. Once upon a time, that 15 minutes would have been an hour. There is improvement but it can be tough still. God is on the throne and is helping us each day, just has he has with this pregnancy.
So how I could I grumble and agree with what others tell me I must be feeling and then miss the opportunity to share the joy and miracle with others about how much I love being pregnant? This may be the last child I have. The Lord knows. But I am determined to testify to the wonder and love, the gift and preciousness of what it is to be a mother.
I try to be as real as I can. And this is one way I can be real with you. To encourage you not to accept what the pattern of the world is in your life right now. You can be an overcomer in God!
Perhaps its in your work place, or in your home life, in a family situation or in talks with friends. There may be an opportunity to testify about how God has helped you through. If you don't see one, ask Him to show you and renew your mind through His Word.
I will continue to do so for my own life.
And you know what, even if this delivery doesn't go to 'plan' or is less than what we had hoped for, I know that God is with me. He has not forsaken me. "For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does" (psalm 33:4). May He be glorified through it no matter how it turns out.
"I sought the Lord and He answered me. He delivered me from all my fears". Psalm 34:4
5 things I am thankful for today:
1. Catching up with Reb and the boys yesterday
4. Knowing that the Lord is always faithful in everything he does
5. The kids playing together inside in the warmth of our home
Love and blessings,