Sometimes I wonder what our life would have been like if we hadn't made some of the choices we have.
I don't think about these things often, but when I do....sometimes it gets me a little upset...which is why I don't think about them so much.
One of the things that has really affected me over the past couple of years is how many friendships I've lost. My first thought on this is that i am far from the perfect friend myself. I really am not that. My second thought is that when I left the magazine/publishing/designing/scrapbooking world, I lost a lot of friends. Some people later told me they just thought we'd have very little in common once I left. And some, well, I'm not sure what happened with some. I would leave comments on their blogs, or send the odd email and just never heard from them again.
Don't get me wrong. I know people get busy - I am a busy person too! I'm not one of those people that is always great at returning emails or phonecalls. Actually sometimes I am pure bad at that (ahem on that note Nat and Monique I owe you phonecalls if you happen to be reading this and I am sorry and will try and do that this week!). I'm really trying though in this area to remember and to return calls and to prioritise my time. I am also not the kind of person sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring!!! But the weird thing was, when I left the scrapping world, all these friendships just kind of disappeared....all at once. And it was really noticeable.
The same thing happened recently when Yah (God) moved us in a different direction with our walk with Him. We still believe in the same God. And the same Saviour, Yeshua (Jesus) and the same sacred scriptures (the Bible) and yet because of the expression of our faith now...we kind of have been cut off by alot of people.
This is not said to attack.
I know it seems hard and weird. And i know some people don't know what to say. But it would be hard to ignore that it doesn't hurt when you have walked closely with people and then all of a sudden...nothing. No contact even when I've tried to make contact. Or when we've invited someone for dinner having them say they don't feel comfortable to eat with us. Ouch.
This probably just sounds like a big whinge but it's not.
This week I got to go out and have lunch with Lori at a lovely cafe nearby. Then we went back to her place, drank tea together and played our mandolins. A truly loving friend to share life's journey with.
Yesterday we had a little Shabbath gathering here. Friends came who love us.
Then last night, we got to go to Sumi's for her 30th birthday bash and had such a lovely time. (Sumi and I went to college together) and out of the blue, in rock another 2 beautiful girls that were in our college class whom I haven't seen for over 7 years! Friends who love us no matter the amount of time passing.
For lunch today we went to have lunch with our mother's group families (who we've been friends with for the past 9 years). More friends who love and support us.
I got to talk with my Anth in Wales on the phone tonight for over an hour. My dear friend who loves me. And we had Ben and Jas pop in too. Friends who love us also.
So just when I think about all the friends who have lost, Yah lovingly reminds me of the ones we have. The ones who have walked with us, who have shared many things with us, who have laughed and cried and prayed with us. Many friends have gone now and that is just a reality of life. But He has also sent many new ones. Perhaps He will even restore some of the friendships that today seem lost. We have been blessed with a number of friends that you don't have to see regularly or chat with but when you do, you just pick up where you left off and go from there. I love that and am so thankful for those friendships; Mel Moor you my friend are one of those people! And we also have friends like the Vandors with whom Yah has made such a beautiful friendship spring up from dust and ashes so to speak and that is such a precious gift of His to us. Sometimes the road is narrow and somewhat lonely.
I pray He teaches me more on how to be a good friend to others.
I truly only want what He wants for my life....even when that path seems weird or wrong or strange or whatever to other people. I'm not out to man-please. I'm just alive to God-please.
Ok, rant over.
As you were.
PS: This post is
Posted with love,
PPPS: For disclaimer on my feelings, please see 'P.S'. lol