Today has probably been the hardest day i have had with Elijah in months.
Difficult beyond words.
It was his preschool day today and after him being there for 5 mins, the beautiful director told me he would not be able to stay today which i had thought would happen.
He had the whole weekend with my gorgeous parents. First time in a year. The lessons we have learnt from it is that:
a) he might need a shorter stay next time
b) he can't do the many things in a row that my parents so kindly wanted him to experience
c) he still gets so overstimulated even in the simplest of settings and we really need to manage that input. Hence why we are so excited about homeschooling b/c we can control the amount of stimulation in his environment.
Anyway, I know the Lord is with me and He is helping me get through the day which is great. I just couldn't imagine walking this walk without Him. He strengthens me and gives wisdom to know how to cope. He IS my coping mechanism!
I got this in an email today from my friend Brigitte. It really warmed my heart and maybe just a made up story but who cares? It is a great reminder that we can love others before ourselves.
At a fundraising dinner for a schoolthat serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one ofthe students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all whoattended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offereda question:'When not interfered with byoutside influences, everything naturedoes, is done with perfection.Yet my son, Shay, cannot learnthings as other children do. He cannot understand thingsas other children do.Where is the natural order of things in my son?'The audience was stilled by thequery.The father continued.'I believe that when a child likeShay,who was mentally and physicallydisabled comes into the world,an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comesin the way other people treat that child.'Then he told the following story:Shay and I had walked past a parkwhere some boys Shay knew wereplaying baseball. Shay asked,'Do you think they'll let me play?'I knew that most of the boys wouldnot want someone like Shayon their team, but as a father Ialso understood that if my son wereallowed to play, it would give him amuch-needed sense of belonging andsome confidence to be accepted byothers in spite of his handicaps.I approached one of the boys on thefield and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy lookedaround for guidance and said, 'We'relosing by six runs and the game is inthe eighth inning. I guess he can beon our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'Shay struggled over to the team'sbench and, with a broad smile, puton a team shirt. I watched with a smalltear in my eye and warmth in myheart. The boys saw my joy at my sonbeing accepted.In the bottom of the eighth inning,Shay's team scored a few runs butwas still behind by three.In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in theright field. Even though no hits camehis way, he was obviously ecstatic justto be in the game and on the field,grinning from ear to ear as I wavedto him from the stands.In the bottom of the ninth inning,Shay's team scored again.Now, with two outs and the basesloaded, the potential winning run wason base and Shay was scheduledto be next at bat.At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to winthe game?Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat.Everyone knew that a hit was all butimpossible because Shay didn't evenknow how to hold the bat properly,much less connect with the ball.However, as Shay stepped up to theplate, the pitcher, recognizing thatthe other team was putting winningaside for this moment in Shay's life,moved in a few steps to lob the ballin softly so Shay could at leastmake contact.The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.The pitcher again took a few stepsforward to toss the ball softly towardsShay.As the pitch came in, Shay swungat the ball and hit a slow groundball right back to the pitcher.The game would now be over.The pitcher picked up the softgrounder and could have easilythrown the ball to the first baseman.Shay would have been out and thatwould have been the end of the game.Instead, the pitcher threw theball right over the first baseman'shead, out of reach of all team mates.Everyone from the stands and bothteams started yelling, 'Shay, run tofirst!Run to first!'Never in his life had Shay ever runthat far, but he made it to first base.He scampered down the baseline,wide-eyed and startled.Everyone yelled, 'Run to second,run to second!'Catching his breath, Shay awkwardlyran towards second, gleaming andstruggling to make it to the base.B y the time Shay rounded towardssecond base, the right fielder had theball . the smallest guy on their teamwho now had his first chance to be thehero for his team.He could have thrown the ball to thesecond-baseman for the tag, but heunderstood the pitcher's intentions sohe, too, intentionally threw the ballhigh and far over the third-baseman'shead.Shay ran toward third base deliriouslyas the runners ahead of him circledthe bases toward home.All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay,all the Way Shay'Shay reached third base because theopposing shortstop ran to help him byturning him in the direction of thirdbase, and shouted, 'Run to third!Shay, run to third!'As Shay rounded third, the boysfrom both teams, and the spectators,were on their feet screaming, 'Shay,run home! Run home!'Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the herowho hit the grand slam and won thegame for his team'That day', said the father softlywith tears now rolling down his face,'the boys from both teams helpedbring a piece of true love and humanityinto this world'.Shay didn't make it to another summer.He died that winter, having neverforgotten being the hero and making me so happy,and coming home and seeing hisMother tearfully embrace her littlehero of the day!
Love and blessings,